Today was an important day.

Scene: The BF's house..outside..in his car.

We were pulling out of his driveway to go to the movies..or so I thought. Instead he backs the car up and parks at a spot outside his house where you can't really see us.

He says "Come over here," kisses me, and pulls me into his lap. After some hard-core making out he's pulling my jeans & panties off. He unzips his pants, revealing how hard he is. We re-arrange our bodies, to accomodate the new situation.

I take notice that this is quite possibly the strangest position I've ever been in...I don't care. Doesn't matter.

I am so turned on..especially when I feel him rubbing up against me. Passionate kisses. Then he starts rubbing on my clit...then he's pushing the very tip in... He says, "Don't worry, it's just the tip."

We've played this game before.

We both move a bit..next thing I know, sharp pain. He's all the way in. He asks me if I want him to stop. I say no. The logical part of me is screaming, "YES! Please stop! Where's the condom?! Don't do this Sarelle..Just don't."

I suppress my logic.

The pain goes on for what seems like an eternity, but could only have been a couple of minutes at most. I tell myself it's ok. You love him, right? You can deal with a little pain.

My eyes are closed..He goes in a bit too hard and fast, and I let out a pained gasp. He says "sorry" and sounds sincere. Passionate kiss.

I start to realize I don't feel pain anymore. This is different. A new experience.

OMG This feels amazing.

I truly can't find any other words to describe it.

I'm trying to take everything in so I never forget it. How he feels inside of me...How complete I feel with him. I take special notice of the look in his eyes...Love. Love for me.

He whispers, "I love you, Sarelle." Passionate kiss.

He's about to cum, so he pulls out. I collapse into him.

We talk some..kiss a lot. We're just soaking up the moment...being together..as one.

We go at it again. Clumsy me accidentally hits the horn. We almost get caught by his uncle.

We separate, and I both love and hate the feel of him sliding out of me. He moans.."Oh, I miss you already."

Driving. We leave before we can be totally caught...There's something magical in the air. We've been brought closer and can't get the "just had sex" grins off our faces. There's something super kinky about almost getting caught. Adrenaline, I suppose.

And so that was my first time.

I sit here typing this with swollen labia, and bite-mark hickeys across my neck. Wondering how I'm going to cover them up when I go to town later. I have the slightest worry that I could get pregnant, even though he pulled out.

I don't feel broken...I don't feel dirty. I didn't want to cry after..and don't feel that I'm going to Hell.

I don't feel much different at all actually.

My "beliefs" are falling apart...I'm not sure that I care.

I was grown up in a VERY conservative, Christian family. I've been raised to believe you are going to Hell if you have premarital sex. That it is dirty and oh so wrong.

Granted, this is NOT the way I imagined my first time. I wish things hadn't "just happened." I wish he'd had a condom.

But do I really have any regrets? Not at all.